- Kennedy Counseling
- Jun 29
- 1 min read

Quite often, people find themselves in a relationship pattern that hurts a lot.
When the ‘newness’ of a relationship wears off, some red flags surface that we didn’t see before (or we saw glimpses, but chose to ignore because 'we can help them through that!)
A dear friend used to say "Pay attention, they're showing you who they are..."
Do you seem to repeat the same dysfunctional relationship patterns – even though they leave you frustrated and hurt? There are several different reasons for a tendency to repeat behavioral patterns:
* We repeat what's familiar (subconsciously)
* We repeat what we learned as children (subconsciously)
* We repeat what was traumatizing in an unconscious effort to gain mastery over it (subconsciously)
*We are trying to get love, attention, and validation that was missing
We falsely believe that chaos is exciting and means love/passion - some even get addicted to the chaos and feel unloved or unwanted if it is not present.
Learning our autopilot behavior - that's when we can begin to change those subconscious/unhealthy choices that have brought years of misery and have carried us off course. Then we can actually start heading where we want to go, be our real true selves, and find joy - maybe for the first time.
Therapy can help tremendously with this process - it's not easy, but it is possible.
You don't have to repeat unhealthy patterns, you can learn new ways to have relationships, be free and enjoy your life.
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