Reclaiming Who You Really Are

Being overly accommodating to others, absorbing tons of criticism, and feeling guilty for expressing your own true thoughts, feelings, and needs is one arm of the definition of people-pleasing behavior. We take care of everyone else’s emotions, experiences, and pain – while putting ourselves on the back burner, thinking that it is selfish to express ourselves.

People-pleasing often comes out of a fear of not being ‘liked,’ and sometimes comes out of a fear of conflict, rejection, or disapproval. We learn to be quiet, not express ourselves, and pick up on others’ verbal and non-verbal cues to please them – to protect ourselves, at the cost is not being our real self. If we do this for a long time, we might not even be sure of ‘who’ our real self is.

I’m not saying we run wild, but perhaps with moderation and strength, learning the skills to be real, be honest, be authentic to ourselves. That is freedom!

It does take work, and counseling can help with this recovery. Call 719-375-4622 if you would like help in this area. We offer free 20-minute consultations via Zoom if you would like.