Perception…Where Does it Come From?

Ever strongly react to something and you don’t know why?

What happens inside of us when we hear or see something?

We automatically and subconsciously filter that information through our belief system, also called our core belief system.

What is a core belief system? It is the deep down beliefs we hold about ourselves, other people, and the world. The things we have we learned growing up that we may/may not be aware of.

They are our embedded convictions about who we are – positive negative. Our beliefs regarding our value, our worth, our self-esteem, our ability to succeed or fail, etc.

When we are in relationships – any relationship (work, family, friend, romantic), all things that are said to us go through these filters (core beliefs).

We automatically interpret incoming communication this way… And so does the other person! They also are interpreting conversations with their own core beliefs as well.

Here is how it goes: Something is said that we interpret automatically through our core beliefs, get our feelings hurt - then we say something back, the other person now interprets this through core beliefs (in a totally different way than we meant it)…and we have a communication problem! THIS is “how” miscommunication happens!

How to fix it?

~ Learn what your core beliefs are (counseling can help a great deal with this, because many times we are not aware of what they are). Core beliefs can be changed! 😊

~ Clarify with each other – ask if you are understanding their words/meaning correctly.

~ Repeat until both people understand what the other intended. 😊