Delicate Detachment with a Narcissist

I’m not sure if I like the word detachment or disengaging better, but both are critical skills if you have someone in your life who has narcissistic personality disorder. You can be quite sure that the narcissist is likely to be offended when you choose to not engage in their manipulation, but that is not your problem to solve – remember - their behavior is not about you; it’s about him/her. Their behavior is indicative of a long-standing dysfunctional defense system enlisted to preserve his/her ego at the expense of logic, common sense, or evidence. They will blame, gaslight, and have a fit to protect their need for control.

A Narcissist’s insensitivity (little/no empathy) towards you is merely a reflection of that person’s need for attention and adoration, which does not allow time for you and your needs/wants to be acknowledged and cared for.

Let me encourage you, you do not have to look to such a troubled person for validation of your own worth. Remind yourself that you deserve equal time in this relationship (no matter what type of relationship it is) and you have intelligence, decency, and worth - even when the narcissist says or implies otherwise.

If you feel that you have lost “who you are,” and have neglected your own emotional health, please reach out for help.