For many people, Mother’s Day is full of joy. Today women celebrate the love for their own mom and receive love from their children. This is the ideal story. A wonderful story. The one we love to hear about and assume that is the “normal” scenario.

But unfortunately, Mother’s Day is not such an ideal story for everybody. For some, it is not a joyous event full of cards, restaurants, and flowers. It is a time of sadness, longing, and pain. Some have lost their moms or a child, some do not have a healthy relationship with their mom, and some also experience pain because they are a mom of a grown child who they do not have a relationship with right now.

Indeed, very few things are more painful than experiencing the absence of love and care from our mothers or adult children.

If it is a difficult day for you, use some self-care strategies, and permit yourself to do what feels right and safe; go for a great hike, go to a nursery and plan your garden or begin planting, watch a sweet movie (uplifting), talk on the phone with people you miss .

Lovingly take care of yourself today; keep a careful watch over your thoughts so you think positive things – interrupt yourself if you spend time in painful thoughts – intentionally change your thoughts if need be.

On the flip side, how do you say Happy Mother's Day to someone who has lost their mom, a child, or has no contact with their grown kids?

1. Don’t say “Happy Mother’s Day,” but rather “I'm thinking of you today.” 2. I'm here for you. 3. I'm thinking about your mom today. 4. Your mom was one of a kind. 5. Holding you in my heart today. 6. I love you; I care about you. 7. Honoring your mom's memory today.